The Cadbury Bunny Sits on a Throne of Lies

A random blog post about Easter and turning 25. 

First, Easter is evil. 

It is a conspiracy between the fashion world and candy makers. Here are the facts: From the beginning of March until Easter arrives, these two industries prey upon our weaknesses. These weaknesses being our desire for Spring after a long, cold winter and a love of Reese's Easter Eggs. While shoving delicious chocolate in our faces they convince us that we need a new outfit for Easter and other spring wardrobe items. We buy the delicious candy "for Easter" that seems to be in every aisle of the store. Then we have "just a few" until it's all gone. Purchase, eat, repeat for almost the entire month of March.

At the same time we're picking out our new Spring clothes and Easter dresses. Then, just as Easter rolls around all that candy comes back to haunt us and we no longer fit into our new Easter clothes. So we have to rush out and buy something else that doesn't hug our extra fluffy bunny tail quite so much. Which as we know makes us feel bad. And what do we do to feel better? Eat more Easter candy. Especially afterwards when it's on sale. This is the Easter conspiracy. Also known as my absence of self control. 

That concludes the conspiracy, ranty portion of this post. Now, on to the benefits of my latest birthday. 

Happy birthday to me! I turned 25 last week. Quarter of a century. It's kind of a big birthday that comes with a few perks. Here are the top 5 perks of turning 25.

1) I am no longer considered a "youth" by the Federal Government. Which means I no longer qualify for the programs that my clients participate in. A little separation and boundary enforcement is always good for the social work profession.

2) I can rent a car! If you're looking to plan a weekend get away, I'm your girl. My AAA discount and I would love to go exploring with you.

3) I have another year left on my parents' insurance. Maybe that means I'm not fully independent but I don't care. Thanks to federal law and my dad that's one less deduction from my little pay check. 

4) My frontal lobe is fully developed (supposedly). I'm actually still trying to figure out if this is a perk or not. I guess it will keep me from getting that tattoo I've been considering and I'll be happy about that when I'm half a century old. 

and 5) I got another year older! God has blessed me with 24 good years and I'm prayerful 25 will be just as wonderful. 

Happy almost Spring y'all! Enjoy some delicious Easter candy. In moderation of course. We can't let them win! 

But My Only Math Credit was in Word Problems

I am a person of varying interest. This makes it hard for me to find "my passion". I've been told that finding what I am most passionate about will lead me down the right career path. Sounds great! The problem is I'm a privileged, educated female in my mid-20's who has only been a social worker for about 6 months. In other words I haven't had time to become jaded yet, am still slightly idealistic, and become passionate about almost anything that interests me. My brother would also classify me as an bleeding heart liberal but he's wrong and that's a whole other discussion ;-)

My latest interest comes from a combination of watching the West Wing and a past crush on a former econ professor who got closer than anyone else in convincing me that numbers aren't hard or scary. 

*Side note: I'm a little more than 10 years late to the party but the West Wing is a phenomenal show. If you have Netflix I highly suggest watching the series. Granted I'm only halfway through the first season but I'm a full on senior staffers junkie. Also, the Christmas episode made me cry and I'm someone who only cries about once a year. So yeah*

Back to the story. On the West Wing Martin Sheen's character, President Bartlet, is a Nobel prize winner in economics. Aside from me simply loving his character, I find the economics dialogue fascinating. Yes, I fully understand that it's a television show and probably half of it is not factual. However, it made me think back to the only econ class I ever took in college. Economics and Society with Professor Allen Ryan. Economics and Society was econ for non business majors. Or econ for people majoring in social sciences who are scared of words like math and statistics. Anywho, I professor crushed hard on Mr. Ryan because he was smart, witty and made me like economics. 

All this to say it renewed my interest in econ and how it could be paired with social work to lead me further down this road of professional self discovery. So naturally I started googling (seriously spell check? That not a word yet? I'm even using Google Chrome to write this) everything about economics and social work and making grand plans to start taking online classes this summer. Then I remembered that not all economics courses are taught by Mr. Ryan and numbers are indeed hard and scary. There's also the fact that I can barely pronounce statistics correctly, let alone understand them. The only math credit I earned in undergrad was Finite Math. Basically I got a math credit in word problems. So here's a word problem to ponder:

Question:  If Molly has 2 degrees which she hasn't yet finished paying for and idiotically starts researching a third, what does Molly have? 

Answer:  Molly has a mental disorder that she should have been able to diagnose with her masters in social work. Furthermore, Molly should stop going off on crazy tangents and get some rest.

Finding your passion is tough kids. Paying for your passion is even tougher. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I'm likely to have another late night revelation within a few months that will lead me to discover yet something else to be passionate about. Perhaps I should start watching Star Trek after West Wing and see what social ills I want to solve for deep space. 

What about you? Have any of you found your true passion professionally? Is it idealistic and naive to believe that I will someday? 

Rage Against the Shoe Store

I hate shopping for shoes. Yes, you heard me correctly. I am a woman and I hate shopping for shoes. Don’t get me wrong, I love shoes. I love buying new shoes. I love finding a pretty pair in the store that make your calves look killer and prancing around the store in happiness. But I hate shopping for shoes because I have big feet. The shoe world is not kind to women with big feet.

Many shoe stores don’t carry big sizes at all. Department stores are the worst.  I haven’t been able to buy shoes at a place like JC Penny, Macy’s or Belk since the 8^th grade.  While there are some stores who make an effort to carry a wider variety of sizes, pickings are slim for those of us in the 11-12 category.

One such store is the Payless in my neighborhood. They are at least kind enough to recognize that big feet need to be shod as well.  However, the store is separated by size and the 11-12 section is in the farthest, darkest, saddest corner in the entire place. I guess its best that they keep us away from the people with average size feet. No one wants to see the sadness that happens in that far back corner. We’ll get to that in a minute. First we must take the journey to that corner.

As you enter such stores you start out hopeful. Hey, look! There’s my size…way back there. You look at the shoes in the other size sections as you pass. You can’t help it. They’re so pretty. Electric blue pumps? Of course I need those! But then you start to notice something once you pass the 9s. The shoes are getting less and less cute as you go. Then you think of your past shoe shopping experiences and realize that you are once again on the trek to the back corner. Where ugly shoes go to die. Because if it isn’t bad enough that most people don’t even carry your size, now you realize that of the  pairs they have for you to choose from here only two are halfway presentable. No, I don’t want the granny orthos or the leopard print platforms with a purple heel. 

So you find yourself sad and forlorn as you face your options. You even try to squeeze into a few 10s, knowing full well that it’ll never happen. You’re walking around in them actually saying to yourself “I could get away with these. Maybe hammer toe won’t be so bad after all…” (Side note, it will be awful. Take a look.) Once you’ve moved on past denial you become angry. You begin to curse all shoe stores and shoe makers in general. Then you realize that they don’t even make half sizes past a size 10 and you get even more enraged. Because we all know that once you get past a size 10 your feet only grow in whole sizes. After a quick tear or two you finally enter acceptance. You pick the least ugly pair of shoes you can find, call it day and go look at the purses. Purses fit everyone and they make us all feel better.

So in conclusion I would like to say something to the shoe stores:

Dear shoe stores,

Why do you continue to hate on ladies with big feet? We still need to buy shoes. Our money is still green. And here’s the kicker, we like to shop for shoes just as much as any other girl.  So why then do you continue to not carry our sizes? If one of you would catch on we would flock to you in droves. We would march to your store in our tattered black flats that we’re still wearing because we can’t find replacements.  Then, once we arrived to purchase our new black flats we would become giddy with excitement and buy lots of other shoes that we don’t need or have the money for.  We would buy the electric blue pumps and the red sling backs. We would love you and spread the word of your greatness and never leave you. If you build it, we will come.

Sincerely,

Molly, size 11.5 

P.S. pay attention to us because it hurts worse when we kick you. 

My Continued Exposure to the Force

Yep, I'm hooked on the Star Wars. I just had to know what happened in the next movie. Sure enough the Empire struck back and I completely loved it. As I mentioned in the previous post I stumbled upon the DVD's while looking through my roommate's movie collection.  She was home with me when I watched the second movie and as a seasoned Star Wars fan found my commentary pretty entertaining.  Unbeknownst to me she decided to live tweet everything I said during the movie.  She then showed me the full twitter feed later.  I must admit, I'm a little ridiculous and talk way too much during movies. However, she made my decision to blog my observations much easier. So below are all the things she secretly tweeted while we watched with my added observations in bold. 

*Disclaimer: I do in fact realize that I need to quit using the word totes. I work with adolescents. Judge me.*

• Gonna watch my housemate watch Star Wars II for the first time. To live tweet due to, "Aren't Luke and Layla cousins and kiss or something?" This is apparently what made her decide to start tweeting
• "No more of that Death Sphere! They blew that up!"
• "I would totes not be down to live on an ice planet. I'd like the desert 'cause that's where Obi was. And me and Obi are besties." Truth. I heart Obi.
• "I hope they fix Leia's eyeshadow. It was not looking good in the first one."
• "Sexy tan on Harrison Ford? Thank you. I think their budget increased a little bit."
• Han: "I'll see you in hell!" M: "THAT'S where that came from. Han, you trend-setter, you!" I'm understanding so much more about this world that I live in now that I've seen these movies.
• "Is THIS where we meet Yoda? Oh, Luke is looking all KINDS of purple. Is He about to put him INSIDE this animal? Bear Grylls did that."
• "Ha! I'm riding 'Solo!' Hahaha!"
• At Luke and Leia's interactions: "Ha. That be yo cousin!"
• I'd like to interject with the fact that my roomie is a white girl from Alabama with a penchant for some #RollTide in her life.
• On Vader: "Basically the only requirement for this character was... Be tall. MUFASA!"
• "Chewie overreacts a LOT."
• On Leia: "She's a lot more active than like, Princess Peach. Who just sits in a castle waiting to be rescued." No one likes Peach. Especially when playing Mario Kart. She's a menace. 
• "Can you imagine what Luke could do in a plane with today's technology?"
• "What is this little... Control pad on Darth Vader's stomach?" Um, it appears like a vital piece of equipment. Why doesn't anyone punch some buttons when he's distracted.
• "If C-3PO doesn't wanna get left behind, he better learn to run faster!"
• "I wanna know what this belt thing is that Chewie's carrying 'cause I haven't seen him use it once. It's his murse."
• "Do you think that the people who watch this a lot can actually speak Chewie?"
• "Yoda lives... in a... swamp."
• "Uh-oh. Loch Ness is about to get R2 in the swamp. George Lucas wasn't very original. Loch Ness, yetis..."
• "Uhh, PS, there are no black people in outer space? This seems wrong. Yeah, maybe it's a movie from 1976."
• "Obi-wan Kenobi? That sounds like a good Japanese restaurant." 
• "She's ROCKING that Heidi braid."
• "*Gasp!* Scarlet totally calls Rhett a scoundrel too!" And the parallels continue
• On Darth: "He wouldn't be half as menacing without that cape. Just throwing that out there." I happen to agree.
• On the Emperor: "Now WHO is this wrinkly, hot mess?"
• "Question: how do all these planets have the right amount of gravity?" Right?!
• "Would you rather be taught by Yoda, or Mr. Miyagi?" Tough call. They're both adorable. 
• "Yoda is so cute. I wanna pet him. And tickle his ears."
• "Yoda and Luke are totally Harry and Dumbledore. 'Harry, you must control your emotions!'"
• On seeing Lando: "There IS a black person!"
• "Wait, what?! Of course the black person sold them out! They had to make the one black character a bad guy!" I was pretty upset about this.
• "OK, I know I said I didn't like C-3, but I'm kinda in pieces that he's in pieces."
• "Chewie's hair is kinda like a cross between a mullet and Texas hair. Woah! Chewie has Paula Deen hair!" 
• "Oh my goodness! My friend has a black cat named Lando! I wonder if this is why."
• "Yo, who's the guy with the blinky ears? Just runs around. He's like that kid on the train with the beats going who doesn't talk to anyone."
• "We're already to the fight scene? Talk about daddy issues."
• "Y'all, I am totes being Darth Vader for Halloween." But I'll probably only say Mufasa things. 
• Re: "I am your father." M: "Ohh SNAP. Well, now he looks constipated."
• "Well, the good thing is laser-severed appendages don't bleed."
• "I must say. I didn't anticipate liking it this much." So true! Han and Obi have a lot to do with that. Can't wait to watch Return of the Jedi! 

And now you're all thinking "I never want to watch a movie with Molly. That girl can't shut up!" 

Happy rest of the week everyone!

Hi, My Name is Molly and I am a Reluctant SciFi Lover

I had a million things I was supposed to accomplish today when I got home from work. I did none of them. First I fell asleep accidentally on purpose and then I decided to watch a movie. Oops. All the choices on Netflix were overwhelming so I decided to scan through my roommates' movies. One of the first ones I spotted was Star Wars. I had never seen Star Wars. Yes, I made it to the age of 24 1/2 without ever seeing Star Wars. So I decided that this was the time. It started off kind of slow and I almost turned it off. However, George Lucas must be as smart as everyone says he is because right about when I was grabbing the remote he pulled me in somehow. I get it now, the movie is quite awesome. Congrats Star Wars, you win. I'll now watch Episodes 5 and 6.

So here are the observations of someone watching it for the first time 35 years after the initial release:

• Luke Skywalker is kind of whiney. I hope his manliness develops over the next few movies. Right now he just reminds me of Justin Bieber. I bet Luke Skywalker is Canadian too.
• I don’t like James Earl Jones playing a bad guy.  When I hear him talk all I can think is “Mufasa would never do that!”  I also picture him in full African King regalia like in Coming to America and know that’s not him in the Darth suit. It takes away from the sinister-ness a little bit.
• I have a thing for eccentric old people so Obi Wan was obviously an instafave. His whole dying thing better be a trick and he better resurface later like Gandalf does or I’ll be highly upset. Speaking of Gandalf, I was also extremely late in the game watching LOTR. I didn’t see it until my senior year of high school when we watched it in Lit class. My outrage, disbelief and outburst at his “death” made it painfully obvious that I was the only one in the class who hadn't seen it. What can I say? I’m a reluctant SciFi/Fantasy lover.
• At the end of the first movie it appears Leia has a decision to make but let’s get real, there’s no competition. Luke = Ashley Wilkes and Han Solo = Rhett Butler. And we all want Rhett Butler.
• The death star is a sphere, not a star. That bothered me a lot. It’s a good thing they blew it up or I may not be able to continue with the 2^nd movie.
• I would like to know more about Darth’s childhood. I think we’ll find the answers there.
• Princess Leia’s hair made me hungry for cinnamon buns. Not cinnamon nuns like I accidentally typed when I told my friend Cori this. I’m not even sure what a cinnamon nun would be. Cinnamon buns are sinfully delicious though so I’m sure nuns stay away from them.
• I think R2D2 has a cuddly personality but would not want to cuddle him because he is a robot. Chewy on the other hand looks extremely cuddly but would probably rip me limb from limb. Book and cover kind of stuff.
• Why doesn’t Luke’s fancy, fighter, flying machine have a rearview mirror? He has to turn around a lot while he’s being tailed. That seems highly inconvenient.
• Leia’s pink eye shadow kind of drove me crazy. That is obviously not the best color choice for her. Just saying. 

That's mostly what stood out to me during the first movie. I'll definitely be watching the next one soon. 

·      

Kick off your shoes and stay a little while

Well, its official. I'm going to be staying in the DC area for a little longer than originally intended! While the decision was slightly terrifying I think I'm going to love living here. Mostly I'm going to simply enjoy living without the pressure of school. I still don't think its quite sunk in yet that I'm done. DONE! Enough about school, I'm starting to twitch.

A few people asked me  if I ever thought I'd wind up living in Washington, DC. My answer is yes, but not in this capacity. In high school I was sure I'd be here every now and then getting my next secret ops assignment as I swiftly rose through the ranks of the CIA. Unfortunately I have none of the qualities it takes to be a spy and that dream never materialized. Let's face it, spies are born not made. I can't crack codes, I'm not stealthy and I'm way too loud and talkative. Ask any of my close friends, I don't even possess the ability to whisper. Also when I told my mom about my future aspirations she informed me I'd probably have to kill someone and that was that. I knew I'd never make it. It was the same sense of finality as when my dream of becoming a veterinarian came to a halt the first time I watched Dr. Wallace check my sweet mutt Tanner for worms. I knew it was time for a new plan. So somewhere along the way I became a social worker instead and lo and behold I still made it to the District. And yes, I assume almost everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis is some sort of government operative.

There are a lot of things I like about the city and if you have ever seen my tweets you know that public transportation is one of them. Seriously, I have a love affair with the DC metro and bus systems. Sure they're frustrating, slightly unpredictable and even sometimes scary but that's what makes it fun. Its always an adventure.  If you come visit me rest assured I'm going to make you ride the bus, even if we have nowhere to go. Because like happiness, a bus ride in DC is a journey, not a destination.

Now that I know I'm going to be staying here for a while I've decided to make some permanent adjustments. Like buying little put-it-together-yourself drawers at Target instead of living out of a suitcase. And FYI I did put it together myself. And I'm not talking about the kind of assemble it yourself furniture that comes with an allen wrench. No sir, I successfully used a hammer and a screw driver to put this puppy together. Not a big deal for most people but a big step for this girl. (Add a severe lack of ability to properly use hand tools to the list of why I'll never be a spy).

Another long term decision was to officially become a member at the church I've been visiting while living here. It feels good to add a stability to my spiritual life. Even if the announcement about that stability came at the tail end of the presentation of the new bathroom renovations. Yep, I'll forever associate that moment with the introduction of the dual flush technology. A very funny moment for me indeed.

Have a great week folks!

Supremely Entertaining Morning

I haven't blogged in a while and I will catch up soon but for now I'm just going to write about what happened today.
We got to go to the Supreme Court! It was definitely an interesting experience and for anyone who is remotely interested in law, politics, or the judicial branch of government it is something to check out.  In fact, even if you're simply interested in people in general the court is made up of quite a few characters.  Of course my first thought upon seeing the justices take the bench was John Grisham's "The Pelican Brief." Thank you John for forever changing the way I think of American law and politics (even if its not the most accurate account). 

Since Alabama is in the 11th court district we were there as guests of Justice Thomas.  He read an opinion from an earlier decision at the beginning of court but that was the only time he spoke throughout the course of the proceedings.  He and Scalia would swivel in their chairs and whisper back and forth but he never addressed the lawyers. At one point I couldn't even see them because they were leaned back so far.  I wonder, in the history of the court if any of the justices have ever fallen out of their chairs? Or pulled a Mike Shula.

The most vocal justices were Breyer, Scalia, Sotomayor, Kagan, and sometimes Chief Justice Roberts.  Scalia and Breyer were definitely the most entertaining of the bunch.  They would call out the lawyers on the smallest of slip ups and sometimes interject just to make a joke.  The morning still felt very formal but I definitely didn't expect to laugh out loud during the proceedings.  The two cases we heard weren't very interesting themselves but witnessing the court proceedings has definitely been one of my favorite experiences so far.  We were in the court room from a little before 10:00am to almost 12:45.  That may be the longest I've gone without speaking in as long as I can remember. I know that doesn't shock anyone.  My attention span started to wane towards the end of the second case (it was such a boring topic!).  I'm pretty sure even some of the justices were over it before the lawyers finished their arguments.  So to keep from going stir crazy I started to sketch some of the justices and then wrote a little rhyme about what was going on.  I'm pretty sure the guy next to me judged me pretty harshly for doodling but at least I wasn't falling asleep.  All in all a great experience and if you ever have the opportunity to attend I highly recommend it! Here's the rhyme I wrote while waiting for the 2nd argument to close:

Nine sit, listen and judge
Some talk a lot, others barely budge
Watch out for Breyer and his sassy remarks
Scalia uses humor and adds his own sparks
Is Thomas still awake? I can't really tell...
Sotomayor looks fierce as
Hello Justcie Alito! You're staring into space
Is Ginsberg somewhere under all that lace?


I didn't have time to finish or work in Kennedy and Kagan but its a work in progress.  Have a great rest of the week everyone!