Monday, March 25, 2013

Teaching Bible Class with Gymnastics

On Wednesday nights I help teach the 4 and 5 year olds in bible class at my church. My friend Emily does most of the teaching this quarter and I've been assisting her. Last Wednesday night she was teaching the story of Doubting Thomas. While these kids are exceptionally bright it is not easy to convey the meaning of the word doubt to 4 and 5 year olds.

To illustrate Thomas' doubt, Emily asked the class "If Miss Molly told you she could fly, would you believe her?" She quickly realized this wasn't the best example and then asked me, "Miss Molly, what's something you can do that we wouldn't believe?" I took a quick mental catalog of my innumerable hidden talents and for some reason "a headstand" is what came out of my mouth. Emily asked the class if they thought I could do a headstand and much to my dismay they answered with a resounding "No". What? Don't these kids know I took all of 3 months worth of gymnastics classes when I was 6? Don't they know I was Daddy's little gymnast? So that hurt my pride a little, but I was happy to see that they were starting to grasp the definition of doubt.

As fate would have it I was in a dress that night and not able to demonstrate my abilities. I promised to wear pants on the following Wednesday so as to dazzle them with my skills. Which works out perfectly because Thomas had to wait a week to see Jesus after the disciples told him of his resurrection. The only potential flaw in this plan comes if I am unable to actually do a headstand this Wednesday. It's been a while since I've tried. I guess I better start practicing. It wouldn't do to lie to the children. Why couldn't I have said something like "eat an entire box of girl scout cookies in one sitting"? That would have been much more fun to prove.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Cadbury Bunny Sits on a Throne of Lies

A random blog post about Easter and turning 25. 

First, Easter is evil. 

It is a conspiracy between the fashion world and candy makers. Here are the facts: From the beginning of March until Easter arrives, these two industries prey upon our weaknesses. These weaknesses being our desire for Spring after a long, cold winter and a love of Reese's Easter Eggs. While shoving delicious chocolate in our faces they convince us that we need a new outfit for Easter and other spring wardrobe items. We buy the delicious candy "for Easter" that seems to be in every aisle of the store. Then we have "just a few" until it's all gone. Purchase, eat, repeat for almost the entire month of March.

At the same time we're picking out our new Spring clothes and Easter dresses. Then, just as Easter rolls around all that candy comes back to haunt us and we no longer fit into our new Easter clothes. So we have to rush out and buy something else that doesn't hug our extra fluffy bunny tail quite so much. Which as we know makes us feel bad. And what do we do to feel better? Eat more Easter candy. Especially afterwards when it's on sale. This is the Easter conspiracy. Also known as my absence of self control. 

That concludes the conspiracy, ranty portion of this post. Now, on to the benefits of my latest birthday. 

Happy birthday to me! I turned 25 last week. Quarter of a century. It's kind of a big birthday that comes with a few perks. Here are the top 5 perks of turning 25.

1) I am no longer considered a "youth" by the Federal Government. Which means I no longer qualify for the programs that my clients participate in. A little separation and boundary enforcement is always good for the social work profession.

2) I can rent a car! If you're looking to plan a weekend get away, I'm your girl. My AAA discount and I would love to go exploring with you.

3) I have another year left on my parents' insurance. Maybe that means I'm not fully independent but I don't care. Thanks to federal law and my dad that's one less deduction from my little pay check. 

4) My frontal lobe is fully developed (supposedly). I'm actually still trying to figure out if this is a perk or not. I guess it will keep me from getting that tattoo I've been considering and I'll be happy about that when I'm half a century old. 

and 5) I got another year older! God has blessed me with 24 good years and I'm prayerful 25 will be just as wonderful. 

Happy almost Spring y'all! Enjoy some delicious Easter candy. In moderation of course. We can't let them win!